During his Schmoedown career, Adam “The Razor” Witt competed in the Star Wars and teams divisions. Drafted by Kaiser in the 2020 Schmoedown draft, he was a member of the Dungeon during Season 7: The New Era and Season 8: War, and the manager of The Fan Favorites during Season 9: Reboot. Here are his reflections on the show we all love, in his own words.
Looking back on the Schmoedown, what is the most memorable moment that you were personally involved in?
Robert Parker vs Mike Kalinowski at Spectacular VI. I was drafted alongside Robert Parker and there was heavy bonding amongst that group during quarantine. I was intimately involved in his training, so getting to Spectacular was the end of a particular journey. Having a live event and being together felt like a victory and I sat in the balcony above the stage shoulder to shoulder with John Hoey and Mollie Damon, dangling our feet over the proceedings. As the match began I heard “hey buddy” behind me. It was Kevin Smets, who I’d only seen once since his diagnosis. Another victory. Parker’s whiteboard was hidden to everyone but us who were above and behind him. With two fellow Star Wars competitors on either side of me they asked Parker the fatal Star Wars question, he wrote his answer, but I couldn’t see it because there was a pipe in the way. Then, to my left I hear Mollie say “oh no.” and to my right, Hoey sighs. Unfortunate for Parker, but the specialness of having two close Star Wars friends react in real time still says a lot about the journey from having few movie friends, and no Star Wars friends two years prior.
What is the most memorable moment that you were not involved in?
Spectacular VI again, I was not really an insider at the previous Spectacular, so it felt good to be in that place with that many friends in full bloom, victorious over the pandemic for the moment. I did not know that Smets would be taking the stage. I just thought he stopped by in secret to support Parker. He stayed very hidden so I forgot about him until I went down to watch Chandru’s stagecraft from the crowd only to see…KEVIN SMETS READY TO ENTER?!? I had no idea that one of the greatest entrances, one of the greatest life victories for Kevin and our crew was about to happen. So I was as surprised as the fans when Kevin Smets took the stage in EPIC fashion. The massiveness of the victory he had over cancer being shouted from the mountaintops by making his return and a crowd victory over Covid and all the hell of the previous years was just SO MASSIVE. It was everything The Schmoedown stands for, from community, to stagecraft, to competition. Absolutely perfect.
Which match that you were personally involved with would you say is the best you ever watched?
The Movie Guys vs Shazam, it was the team’s tournament that decided who played for the Teams Belt. I had such a bad outing my first time and really had my head in the game for this one, Paul sang Kill The Beast for the promo, I came out with a full monologue and bit about suing them for use of the name Shazam that I still find funny. Paul and I spin a strength and go 5 for 5 in Directors. We make Shazam answer their 5 to move on and eventually get the belt. To this day Brendan says nobody made them sweat the way we did (although he said that a year ago haha) And it was the last Movie Guys match. Pretty epic.
Which match that didn’t involve you would you say is the best you ever saw?
The 51/50 Star Wars match, In my mind this is the height of quarantine, The Schmoedown was a sanity lifeline, it was a match at the end of a tournament that I was in as a Star Wars player, something I’m proud to have competed in, and never thought would happen to begin with. Fridays during quarantine were all about The Schmoedown, would I even know what a Friday was without The Schmoedown during quarantine? I watched the greatest Star Wars match of all time, not from a distance, but as an insider and competitor, and friend to both competitors. It was a tremendous sense of community in the chat at a weird time. Poor Alex though. But, he’s the GOAT, even Dimalanta knows that, but The Schmoedown Gods spoke and someone else winning the belt was the more interesting plotline.
How would you describe the Schmoedown’s impact on you?
It gave me a new life and new energy as a performer and reinvigorated my bond with Paul Preston. Paul had shut down the original Movie Guys Showcast after 8 years because we weren’t finding an audience. Just not enough people were obsessed with movies like we were. I stopped writing comedy, stopped performing. And then…because we had the show prior to Schmoes Knows at Toadhop Network, Kristian was still on Paul’s mailing list and reached out to say they were doing something that was up our alley. I went from knowing ONE person as interested in Movies as me to 100 in a few short months. Suddenly I had a brand new social group, performance space, lifelong friends, and a new reason to fall back in love with movies and performing. The impact was so targeted and perfect as to almost defy reality. Shortly after we started, Karen Volpe – a friend of 20 years, Paul’s wife, and a mainstay at The Schmoedown tapings – passed away, and I really don’t know what Paul would’ve done without the sweetest, kindest, most caring group of likeminded friends that almost seemed to come out of nowhere for just such a mission. It kept Paul alive, and gave him the resolve to help Kevin Smets and Craig The Barbarian as their lives were struck with tragedy. The impact is so heady and perfect, rare, and unquantifiable.
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
What will you miss most about the Schmoedown?
Gathering in a mass to love what we love so loudly, so flamboyantly, with tremendous boisterous joy. With hugs and deep feelings of connection that are extremely rare, and should be treated as miracles. Nobody gets to connect with a group the way we did at the events, the shoots, and online with our extended family. It’s so improbable and rare. But it happens. Miracles do happen out of passion. Because if something this perfect can happen. What else is possible? Anything. Loving what we love and believing in ourselves moves mountains and shifts the tectonic plates of life to put us in a perfect place to welcome improbable miracles, even if it seems like it’s not. Just keep believing.
Adam Witt can be found on Twitter @Adam_Witt.
